I want to live a reckless life.

I was reading old emails today and I found the following words. I wrote them to someone most dear, just before graduating from college and just before I did a couple of things some people called crazy.

In many ways, I want to live a reckless life. I don't mean stupid and
irresponsible (but maybe sometimes), I mean reckless for LIVING, for
doing things that are exciting and adventurous, unexpected and
passionate. In all aspects of my life I want to do the things I say
"I want to..." I never want to look back and say "I wish I had..."
It is never too late. Life will never run out of adventures, but I
don't want to miss the opportunities for the ones right in front of my
face.

I don't usually make resolutions with the turn of each new year, but this time around I'm considering it. I still have that desire-- the burning heart that wants a life of adventure and romance-- and wants it so deeply. Those words above, they still ring true.

But I've grown up a little.

I've learned that even when I don't regret doing "crazy" things, sometimes the long-term effects are still undesirable. I made life changes once that were absolutely right for me at that moment. But even now the effects linger, and I am left wondering how different my life would be now if I had made the more likely decisions.

I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.

Don't you feel it? Isn't there something in a great story, in the crescendo of the most gorgeous piece of music, in the way the waves pound the shore? It's something that makes your heart beat faster and your eyes grow wider. It's your heart and it's asking you for more. More life! More risk. Just asking-- please, please take that chance and just see what happens.

Maybe it's the worst idea ever.

Or maybe it will change everything in your life, forever.

this Story is true

Here's part of my church's Advent devotion
& I cannot find better words for you on this Christmas day.

"I don’t know where you are today. I don’t know your situation. But this I know: the King has come. And because he’s come, we have something worth living for. So wherever you are, whatever you feel, whatever you believe, this Story is true, and our stories will only make sense as they find their place within it. Merry Christmas."

Love & joy to you--

I can't think of no one but me...

This song is where my mind has been this Christmas season.

Have a listen...


Santa knows what I want for Christmas
but Jesus knows what I need
it can't be purchased wrapped up and placed
under an ephod tree

I need patience, kindness - virtues like these
to bend on my knee at the manger

Santa may bring these that last for a year
but eternal gifts come from the Savior

some days come where I'm playing selfish
I can't think of no one but me
then I think of all that I'm blessed with
and that's always best to give than to receive

I need faithfulness, love, generosity
to open my home to a stranger

Santa may bring things that last for a year
but eternal gifts come from the Savior

I need patience, kindness, generosity
to bend on my knee at the manger

Santa may bring things that last for a year
but eternal gifts come from the Savior

Santa knows what I want for Christmas
but Jesus knows what I need

Eternal Gifts-- Leigh Nash

Dreaming of white

This past weekend, parts of the South saw some glorious snowfall. It's been a long time since I've seen that kind of snow here-- it was my 11th birthday, in fact. The blankets of white made me miss Colorado & made me rest.

I am part of a new-ish church that meets in a bar every week, but because of the snow, our corporate gathering was cancelled yesterday. One of the pastors, however, wrote a really incredible blog post called "You Can't Cancel Church."

Gene wrote: What if it weren’t up to us to change the world? What if it weren’t up to you to fix everything? What if it weren’t up to you to live up to expectations?

That last bit makes my heart dance a little. Go read it. Trust me.

*That picture is the town where I lived in Colorado. It snowed here, but not that much.

I'm gonna talk politics & religion now.

There's a lot of rather historical legislation happening right now and frankly I'd rather talk about that than Tiger Woods & his indiscretions.

(Although, question: What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? ..... Answer: Santa stops after 3 "hos.")

On Friday, the House passed an overhaul of Wall Street regulatory legislation that's designed to prevent more "high-risk" companies from failing and thus potentially destroying the American economy with their desire for more money and more Christmas dinner parties in Vegas and maybe one of Tiger Woods' hoes for dessert.

{Oh no, I didn't say I wouldn't be opinionated. If there's one thing I have, it's an OPINION.}

Anyway, they're calling this the most ambitious financial regulation rewrite since the New Deal. But I wasn't really around before the New Deal, or during it for that matter, which is why I don't have a huge point of reference for how big the change is going to be. Oh!, and also because I have no idea what the financial regulations are right now, and my work is not even a little bit related to finance other than the fact that because I have a job, I also have finances. So naturally I'm writing about this EPIC legislation with great authority and seriousness.

More to the Point

In the midst of debating these new regulations, the health care shenanigans, the President sending 30,000 additional troops to Afghanistan just 9 days before accepting the Nobel Peace Prize, all of the sudden the American populace is discovering that ---THIS JUST IN--- President Barack Obama is HUMAN.

Goooooooooood golly, Miss Molly! You hadn't heard?!

About this time last year, the United States was buzzing with hope. Hope for the future of our country, hope for further breakdown of racial barriers, hope for change, and hope for the rest of Obama's campaign slogans to become daily realities. This Democratic campaign was so different, so current, and so terribly relevant to so many Americans that in retrospect, it really isn't any large wonder that Obama triumphed.

We thought he would save us.

When we expect a broken human being, or even a political process created by broken human beings, to be our savior? We'll be disappointed to the greatest extent.

This is crucial to understand. We live in a culture that values the political process more highly than most anything else. American culture is deeply rooted in placing a lot of stock in things like freedom of speech, and so we value debate and we call laws ambiguous, and we try with desperation to change things to fit our own ideals.

When one way doesn't work, we assume the other way will fix the problem. And so when President Obama was elected, he looked so different, literally & figuratively, than anyone we had seen before, we thought he must be the one who will save us.

What We Need

I fear our culture easily overlooks the fact that we do not need saving from the Republican or Democratic parties. We do not need saving from the health care system or the corporate giants and their executive's salaries. We do not need saving from our jobs or our relationships or our policies.

We need saving from our brokenness, our sin. We need saving from our humanity and all its frail failures. We are fallen people, in desperate need of redemption.

Regardless of your politics or your culture or your beliefs or your background,

two things are true for us all:

1. we are broken,

&

2. we need a Savior.

I feel like running, but life is on a stroll.

Don Miller says this is how God does things.

I've been bad about writing lately, because things are changing. And it's good.

I moved & I'm decorating and unpacking and organizing and remembering how much I love my pots & pans. I totally do, I'm not even ashamed to say it out loud.

Here are a few pictures from the weekend I moved in. (Clearly, I don't edit my pictures, but whatever, I've been busy painting walls.) Nothing is really close to being "complete," though I am of the opinion that decorating is a process that you never really finish. It's always changing. Like life. Maybe that's why I like it so much.

Here's the living room (but mostly a bunch of crap), which I have dubbed "The Christmas Vacation Project." Still figuring out the plan for in here. And yes, I think that rug looks like something someone's grandma picked out when she painted her walls the color of Pepto Bismol. (Nausea, heartburn, indigestion...!) Shhhhhh! Don't tell my roommates!

This is a little glimpse of my room, much of which I've already changed. But, wow, do I love it. I painted one wall deep purple; the other three are a very warm gray and it's just gorgeous. Still lots of work to do, but it's beginning to feel rather like home.



I took this one with my phone, so please forgive the grain, but this is my favorite achievement so far. Bookshelf numero uno. Ahhhhhh! It's like taking a deep breath.

This is not the pace I wanted for this part of my journey, but I'm beginning to enjoy the stroll.

Are you educated?

"It has always seemed strange to me that in our endless discussions about education, so little stress is laid on the pleasure of becoming an educated person, the enormous interest it adds to life. To be able to be caught up into the world of thought-- that is to be educated."

- Edith Hamilton