One of my younger brothers is dating a very precious and wonderful girl whom he plans to marry. He calls her his "Missus" and it's nauseating and sweet. They are very strange and somehow, they go together. (When they make the face in the photo? It apparently means they're invisible. And they're twenty-one.)
I don't have a "Mister" and I would love to tell you that's just fine with me, la dee daaaaa! But I would be lying. I used to date my best friend, and now I don't and it makes me very sad. Because what is it about a husband that all of us single gals want so badly? It's having that person who knows you to your core and still loves you, chooses to love you in the middle of all the brokenness of the world and then that person helps you grow. And I had that man for a long time, until one day we realized that we wanted different things.
What I am starting to understand now, is my mistake. When I knew we would break up, I told myself I wasn't sure if I could do life without him. I'll tell you the truth, that's why it was & is so hard, and that's also why it wasn't right for me. There shouldn't be any one person that I need to be able to "do life" except for Jesus. And yes, I know that's incredibly trite and religious-sounding, but that doesn't really make it any less true.
Today I read a post on Big Mama's blog that summed up a lot of the lessons God has been kindly beating into my thick skull with a mallet. Primarily, I'm understanding that a man will not and cannot complete me. Our culture inundates us with images of love and passion and completeness as coming together in one giant romantic package, sealed with a long, mushy gushy kiss. And I'm not gonna lie to you, I want that!
But what I also want is someone who doesn't expect me to be perfect. Someone who can forgive me when I try to control every last second of every single day. Someone who can talk me off the ledge when I start crying and can't stop. I want someone who can lead me with strength and masculinity, but godliness above all. I want someone who doesn't need me, but chooses me anyway. (And somebody who will make me enchiladas and margaritas while we watch football, but who doesn't want that?)
I don't have a "Mister" and I would love to tell you that's just fine with me, la dee daaaaa! But I would be lying. I used to date my best friend, and now I don't and it makes me very sad. Because what is it about a husband that all of us single gals want so badly? It's having that person who knows you to your core and still loves you, chooses to love you in the middle of all the brokenness of the world and then that person helps you grow. And I had that man for a long time, until one day we realized that we wanted different things.
What I am starting to understand now, is my mistake. When I knew we would break up, I told myself I wasn't sure if I could do life without him. I'll tell you the truth, that's why it was & is so hard, and that's also why it wasn't right for me. There shouldn't be any one person that I need to be able to "do life" except for Jesus. And yes, I know that's incredibly trite and religious-sounding, but that doesn't really make it any less true.
Today I read a post on Big Mama's blog that summed up a lot of the lessons God has been kindly beating into my thick skull with a mallet. Primarily, I'm understanding that a man will not and cannot complete me. Our culture inundates us with images of love and passion and completeness as coming together in one giant romantic package, sealed with a long, mushy gushy kiss. And I'm not gonna lie to you, I want that!
But what I also want is someone who doesn't expect me to be perfect. Someone who can forgive me when I try to control every last second of every single day. Someone who can talk me off the ledge when I start crying and can't stop. I want someone who can lead me with strength and masculinity, but godliness above all. I want someone who doesn't need me, but chooses me anyway. (And somebody who will make me enchiladas and margaritas while we watch football, but who doesn't want that?)
Because isn't that how God loves us?
I am only beginning to touch the surface of my own thoughts about this, so expect more. Also expect me to sound more than a little bitter one day, and really rather broken the next. I think that's how it's going to be for awhile. And I'm okay with that.
I did say I like seasons, & change, after all.
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