A Conundrum

I know I am a writer. But I want to be an author.

The problem of what to write about is not really a problem at all, it's how to go about it.

They always say "write what you know." Who they are and what I know are good questions.

But I do know about my life and I know my doubts. I know that I like it when the sun shines into my face and the wind lifts my hair. I know that I love the company of my family and the company of my friends and that laughter may very well be the best sound I have ever heard. I know that my writing has two distinct styles, and they are reflective of my heart and it's sometimes contrasting positions. One style is what happens inside me. It is where my doubts live and it is where my thoughts go on and on, tumbling one over the other and then suddenly stopping to look out the window and feeling gratitude towards the stillness. The second style is sarcastic and snappy and a bit of a bitch, really, but very often hilarious, and always true. (Maybe exaggerated at moments. Hyperbole is a beautiful thing.)

And so the conundrum is this: I am both thoughtful and sassy and both have taught me equal truths about myself and the world and what God is working on. (To clarify: he's working on me. All the time, everyday, in every moment. And he's working on you. Are we working on ourselves? That digs a little deeper now, doesn't it?)

My pressing question is this: how do I write both together? Because I am both, together.

Maybe writing both together is not so important as being both together.