I live in a town where I do not belong.
Sitting here, in this coffee shop where the windows are open wide and the man on the side porch is smoking weed, I do not belong. Sitting here, where the long-haired men in their tie-dyed t-shirts talk about climbing mountains and the women discuss their eco-clothing, sans bras, I do not belong.
Of course there are others here. Yes, the hipsters behind the coffee bar, in their plaid button downs and designer glasses-- a calculated carefree. He looks like Buddy Holly, but without the smile.
In my seersucker pants and monogrammed sterling bracelet, I do not belong.
But to tell you the truth? I love it here. I love to watch the people, to hear the conversations and the perspectives that do not match my own. I love the dogs sitting in the shade of the tree, a rough rope acting as a leash. I love that air conditioning is as unnecessary as makeup, and the way old ladies in over-bright outfits mingle with dirty-headed college students.
I don't belong necessarily, but I don't think they do either. I wonder at the beauty and divergence of humanity. We look at each other, stolen curiosities veiled as sweeping glances about the room. We judge, and perhaps we think we are all so very different; you in your dreadlocks, me in my carefully angled bob.
You're not the only one who feels the loneliness. You're not the only one who feels out of place. Don't we all feel that way? No, certainly not all the time. And no, certainly not in a way we speak aloud. We feel that way in the dark corners, in the blankets of night, in the quiet of our personal spaces.
Sometimes I feel like the only one, but it isn't true.
We share our humanity, and we are not alone.
3 comments:
"like Buddy Holly, but without the smile"
nice. i know exactly what youre talking about
You sure do write purdy!
So true. We must remember that we feel alone...but, at some point, so does everyone else. However, I do not want you to feel alone. So, I will come visit! And although I am much more able to identify with the hipsters behind the counter in the coffee shop, I know that you identify with me. Despite your pearls and my lack there of. We identify. Despite the miles between us, and the despite the little communication we are able to have as a result of our crazy busy seemingly opposite schedules. I know that you know me, and I know you. I know your heart. I know your dreams. And I hope that you find comfort in the fact that no matter what happens or where life takes us, I will always identify with you. I will always feel at home with you. And when we are together, I never feel alone. :)
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